The Differences between Japanese and Western Homes

If you can't see the video, go here: http://youtu.be/qWHaenUe1Vs

So, let's imagine you've just arrived in Japan, maybe to work as a teacher or for some other company, or maybe you've been lucky enough to be handed a Japanese apartment to live in for a totally different reason. No, I'm not suggesting you are accomplice to certain illegal murder/aaprtment squatting tactics.... because how the hell would you get in this country? Ok, so reasons aside, you have an aprtment in Japan. Your company has driven you to the door, shown you how the lock on the front door works (because you are foreign, maybe you don't have keys in your country) but then they have dumped you inside and left you to your own devices. This is it. Your life in Japan starts now. This is a very real situation and one I experienced myself. Though my boss was kind enough to set up my internet, but then his company tried to rape me of 20% of my wages. Evil!

You might be a bit confused. Yes, I used the word 'rape' in entirely the wrong context but just go with it. You might also be confused about some of the things in your apartment. It looks similar....but strange somehow. Let us help you.

Entrance!

• Genkan: or 'entrance' as it is known in less crazy countries. Looks like concrete and is the only place you can wear outside shoes. So take them off here. Might have a cupboard for shoes.
  

Kitchen!

• Mini-boiler: floats mysteriously over your kitchen sink and provides undrinkable torrent of adjustably hot water through a bendy tap. Cold, drinkable water comes from a tap, but I'd recommend a tap fitting water filter anyway. Good for cleaning pots and washing hair.

• NO oven! Japanese just don't roast and bake very much! They make toast and the occasional batch of cookies. On the bright side, no hulking monstrosity taking up lots of room in your tiny kitchen.

• NO flat surface for cutting and preparing vegetables ever! Even if you buy one it will disappear! A folding table to fit into the space beside the washing machine is good though, if you cna avoid losing it.
  
  

  
  

  

  This is my house

  
  

Bathroom(s)

• Toilet: It might sing, it might dance (and open the lid for you), it might spray your bum, but highly unlikely unless you are working for a rich company. Probably it will be normal, but asian ones are just troughs that you squat over. Gives users strong legs and humility. Has psycologically sickening unusable tap on top and two options for flushing; 大　big and 小 small. Also, should have special shoes for this room only unless you like guests laughing at you.

• Bath: thin and tall, no leg room, has a pathetic shower on the side that dribbles hot water and gushes ice cold water like you might actually want it (which you don't in winter); clean yourself sat under the shower on a plastic stool, then soak in the steaming bath

• No bathroom sink: except that atrocious one on top of the toilet with no hot water. Get used to cleaning teeth and washing in the kitchen sink!

• No heating: ever!
  
  

  

  Totally floating in my own living room. Mirror's Edge y'all

Living Room!

• Tatami: Hard, cold, expensive and difficult to replace floor covering that only seems to exist to make measuring rooms easier (1 tatami, 2 tatami... 8 tatami room, etc.). Take care of it by padding any furnitures' bases or buying a rug! Nice for pets in summer, but give me a hard wood floor any day.

• Sliding doors: everywhere! Fun and space saving. Don't pull too hard or your entire wall might come down. Can be rearranged easily.

• Paper doors: looks very asian but not practical in any way at all ever. Make your apartment look messy until you replace them only to break them again the next day. Like Internet Explorer these shoudl be replaced as soon as you realise you have them.

• Paper walls (practically): neighbours hear everything you do, you hear everything they do... everything! Plan accordingly, keep music and TV down, buy headphones. Useless for heavy pictures.

• Cupboards: look exactly like doors to other rooms. Be careful, it might go to the neighbour's place.

• Skirting board: massive gap behind it, great for holding up pictures, photos and greetings cards.

• Ceilings and door frames: very very low. Tall people, beware!

This blog is not meant to be any kind of guide to getting an apartment asshat could easily make up four or five blogs on its own. No, this is merely to orientate you on moving in, and I have deliberately kept it brief because there is no point repeating what is in the video. If I wrote about these topics it would be too long for you too read. I know because I wrote it and then I deleted it.

I'm sure we'll cover buying and renting property on another day. All I shall say for now is to try and look after your apartment if you want to get any of your security deposit back. In some places they will always take a chunk of it for cleaning - even if you are meticulous - because its tradition, and to question tradition is to question our existence, and if we question our existence we might find out we have no reason to exist, and in knowing we have no reason to exist, we might cease to exist, and then there would be no more chocolate covered potato chips so the non-existent world would mourn. So just accept it and look after your place to get back as much money as you possibly can.

We'll see you next time with another episode, possibly outside. I don't know yet. Depends on if it stops snowing. In the meantime, all comments or questions are welcome, including any suggestions of what topics to cover? What do you think the newbie to Japan ought to know?

How to Stay Warm in Japan's Winter: Kotatsu!

If you can't see the video, please go here: http://youtu.be/DW1mtWCF3zQ

We got our first noticable snowfall of the winter today. It has been a lot lighter this year. That's not to say it hasn't been cold this year because ooooooh boy! Even my brass monkeys think that it's brass monkeys here! That's why we decided to finally buy a kotatsu.

Now, "what is a kotatsu?" you may well ask. If you're familiar with Japan at all you probably know already. Even if you aren't you have probably seen them in anime or dramas. In short, a kotatsu is a heated Japanese table, but it is so much more than that; it's dreams, it's heaven, it's a sound night's sleep and a way to avoid frostbite.

I'll warn you now, whether you have already arrived in Japan or you are planning on coming here and living in the future, Japanese houses are rubbish for insulation. Absolutely rubbish. If houses were light party snacks, Japanese houses would be swiss cheese.... in the arctic. For serious. Let's say you are in a Japanese house and it's cold, so you decide to put the air conditioner on. Then after a while it gets toasty, so you turn it off again. If you do that your house will be arctic cold again in under half an hour. I am not exaggerating. So the Japanese have many useful devices for keeping warm. The kotatsu is one of them.

You can get many different types, just like you can any table. You could buy a coffee table kotatsu, or a study desk kotatsu, or a dining table kotatsu, the key element that makes it different is...well, the element! The heating element. Under the table top there will be some form of heating device. Cheaper kotatsus will have large clunky heaters that glow red and you will always bang your knee on the guard casing, where as the most expensive ones will have a super-thin, flat heating pad that spans the table underside from end to end. The middle of the range will be a nice compact heater that should keep you warm without too much trouble. We got the latter.

Now, "won't all this lovely heat escape?" you may also ask. After my fearful introduction I can see why you might be concerned, but worry not because kotatsu come with (or require on separate purchase) a futon (thick blanket) that forms a curtain around the table edge and keeps the heat inside. All you need do is insert your cold little legs into the warm space and experience what chocolate feels like on the tongue of a hot girl in an expensive sweet commercial. You can also buy special padded seats for sitting at the shorter kotatsu, or any seat of your choice will do. If you are worried that while your legs are warm the rest of you is cold, don't, because that warmth spreads up your body and makes you feel like you are in a dry, hot bath.

There is one more difference in your choice of price range. Cheaper kotasu will have an on/off switch, but others have a control panel attached to the electric cable. This will allow you to moderate the degree of heat required and more expensive models are fit with a timer. That allows you to safely fall asleep and not dehydrate or have your legs spontaneously combust, because there in lies the problem with the kotatsu. It's so lovely and comfortable that people fall asleep and doze, so work doesn't get done and people don't want to move at all.

I've also encountered the problem that sitting at the kotatsu for a long period of time gives me a bad back, but maybe I just need better seating.

You can get kotatsu from many home stores and even online at Amazon if you wish (we are in no way endorsed by Amazon). Many deliver for free and require little assembly. Though please watch our video to find out how I manage to muck up putting ours together even though it has only 6 screws and 6 separate parts.

In our next blog we'll be taking a more general look at the differences you'll first notice in Japanese homes, so stick around. In the meantime, if you have any comments or there is any topic you want us to cover, please leave a comment below. Don't forget to subscribe for future episodes!