What can you buy in Japanese convenience stores?

If you can't see the video, go here: http://youtu.be/6Wa94Rpslpo

A convenience store is probably the second or third building you will go into when you arrive in Japan. The first being the airport, the second possibly a hostel or hotel, just incase you wanted to test me. They are everywhere, so you won't have any trouble finding them, and they are reasonably priced - though a little more expensive than the shops that will end up being your locals if you stay here. The other benefit is they sell pretty much everything, and there are a few other things you can do there that you might be surprised to hear.

Before I reel off a list that will drop your jaw faster than a naked supermodel, I just want to say that we are not endorsed nor do we support any particular brand, we are just providing information of services available. However, if any convenience company wants to give us money please get in touch we'll be glad to alleviate you of cash for advertising. Also, if any of these "surprising things" are no longer surprising because you have them in America now, or whatever, then I apologise but they don't as far as I know, and didn't when I was there. 

The video above shows just about everything that is in the store, but let me list the essentials. In a Japanese convenience store you can: 

• Buy Food: Kinda obvious, but it's true. You can buy snack foods from potato chips to dried squid, ice cream to frozen chips, rice balls to fresh fruit. There's prepared meals which just need a minute in the microwave to get you going (they will even ask you if you want it heated in store). There's sweets like chocolates and super sour fruit gums, but be careful because the packets are very small. They also have fried food like hot dogs and meat buns (nikuman) kept warm in a glass case that is possibly fuelled by the burning souls of disrespectful customers, but Japan is pretty short of those so I guess not. 

• Read comics and magazines for free: A convenience store is like a library. People go in there and flick through the magazines, read all the comics and then leave. They sell all sorts too. From kids manga and puzzles to study books, style mags to young adult manga complete with bikini model shots and no holds barred porn. It's all right on the shelf on the same level with a wide range of fetishes, real women and cartoon... not that I know anything about that, but if you can't find what you want, check on the shelf under the main displays. They have even more there. Ahem. 

• Buy seasonal gear: Depending on the current time of year, convenience stores will have a small section devoted to surviving. In winter they sell cheap hats, gloves, scarves and pocket heaters. In  summer they sell hand fans, folding fans, cooling gel and other things to get through the heat. It can be good, and I've used it when I've lost gloves on the way home. Just don't go in their expecting fashion. Your choices are normally black or black. You can always get a cheap umbrella or cover-all to protect from a sudden rainstorm too! 

• Buy DVDs: They have some older, cheap movies by the entrance, but some new, fancy ones (and Adult Video) behind the counter. Just ask the clerk! I know you won't! 

• Go to the toilet: Yes! conbini's (conveniences stores) have public toilets that you are allowed to use without having to worry about the formality of having to buy anything in store! Genius! If you are lucky, they may even have a heated seat.

• Bank: There will always be an ATM. They do all the things that western ATMs do and also deposits! I don't remember all western ATMs doing that. Just be careful, they will charge you for withdrawing money, about 100 yen or double that if it's a holiday. However, if you have an account with Shinsei bank, the online bank, it's completely free all the time. So guess who I have an account with. This is all extra awesome because bank's ATMs are rubbish in Japan and access is usually restricted after 7pm (defeating the whole point of having an ATM, stupid Japan) but conbinis are sometimes open 24 hours, at least until 11pm anyway.

• Pay Bills: Through the post, for gas, water, electric, tax, health insurance, your internet and probably your mobile phone (depending on carrier) you will get a paper slip that you can take to the conbini. They will stamp it, ask you to press a button and take your money. Bill is paid! Go home and rest! Some places will not take payments for tax or insurance though. Kill them. Burn their souls and eat their children.

• Make online payments: This is my absolute favorite! I've been trying to get a credit card in Japan since I got here 4 years ago and I have never succeeded. For why I do not know. I also refuse to use my UK card because the bank transfer fees to pay the bill are almost as much as the credit card bill. So, I was delighted to discover that in Japan you can buy something online and then choose to pay for it at a conbini. The company will email you a code, you take it to the conbini and show it to the clerk or input it into the computer like machine by the ATM and it will print a receipt. Show that to the clerk and then pay your money. Then you just wait for your delivery, or if it's tickets, the clerk will give you them on the spot. 

• Buy tickets: On the same computer like machines, you can search for bus tickets, plane tickets, concert tickets, lots more and you can buy them there and then. It's really fantastic. I've used it 5 times for concert tickets (4 times for the same band) and no fails. 

• Photocopy/fax: There is copy machine that's coin operated and it usually has fax capability and an English language option. It's great if you forget an important document after leaving work. 

So Japanese convenience stores are truly convenient. The only problems I have ever had with them are when they are on the other side of the road... or when Nat almost choked on some plastic in an onigiri. And oh my, how cute. My cat is playfully clawing at my fingers as I type so I want to keep typing rubbish just so she'll carry on playing with me. She is so furry! 

Oh well, this will be boring for you guys. So I'll stop and play with my kitten properly. No that is not a euphemism  Get your mind out of the gutter. There isn't room for the both of us.

So why don't you tell me the best thing you ever found at a convenience store. What was it?

The Differences between Japanese and Western Homes

If you can't see the video, go here: http://youtu.be/qWHaenUe1Vs

So, let's imagine you've just arrived in Japan, maybe to work as a teacher or for some other company, or maybe you've been lucky enough to be handed a Japanese apartment to live in for a totally different reason. No, I'm not suggesting you are accomplice to certain illegal murder/aaprtment squatting tactics.... because how the hell would you get in this country? Ok, so reasons aside, you have an aprtment in Japan. Your company has driven you to the door, shown you how the lock on the front door works (because you are foreign, maybe you don't have keys in your country) but then they have dumped you inside and left you to your own devices. This is it. Your life in Japan starts now. This is a very real situation and one I experienced myself. Though my boss was kind enough to set up my internet, but then his company tried to rape me of 20% of my wages. Evil!

You might be a bit confused. Yes, I used the word 'rape' in entirely the wrong context but just go with it. You might also be confused about some of the things in your apartment. It looks similar....but strange somehow. Let us help you.

Entrance!

• Genkan: or 'entrance' as it is known in less crazy countries. Looks like concrete and is the only place you can wear outside shoes. So take them off here. Might have a cupboard for shoes.
  

Kitchen!

• Mini-boiler: floats mysteriously over your kitchen sink and provides undrinkable torrent of adjustably hot water through a bendy tap. Cold, drinkable water comes from a tap, but I'd recommend a tap fitting water filter anyway. Good for cleaning pots and washing hair.

• NO oven! Japanese just don't roast and bake very much! They make toast and the occasional batch of cookies. On the bright side, no hulking monstrosity taking up lots of room in your tiny kitchen.

• NO flat surface for cutting and preparing vegetables ever! Even if you buy one it will disappear! A folding table to fit into the space beside the washing machine is good though, if you cna avoid losing it.
  
  

  
  

  

  This is my house

  
  

Bathroom(s)

• Toilet: It might sing, it might dance (and open the lid for you), it might spray your bum, but highly unlikely unless you are working for a rich company. Probably it will be normal, but asian ones are just troughs that you squat over. Gives users strong legs and humility. Has psycologically sickening unusable tap on top and two options for flushing; 大　big and 小 small. Also, should have special shoes for this room only unless you like guests laughing at you.

• Bath: thin and tall, no leg room, has a pathetic shower on the side that dribbles hot water and gushes ice cold water like you might actually want it (which you don't in winter); clean yourself sat under the shower on a plastic stool, then soak in the steaming bath

• No bathroom sink: except that atrocious one on top of the toilet with no hot water. Get used to cleaning teeth and washing in the kitchen sink!

• No heating: ever!
  
  

  

  Totally floating in my own living room. Mirror's Edge y'all

Living Room!

• Tatami: Hard, cold, expensive and difficult to replace floor covering that only seems to exist to make measuring rooms easier (1 tatami, 2 tatami... 8 tatami room, etc.). Take care of it by padding any furnitures' bases or buying a rug! Nice for pets in summer, but give me a hard wood floor any day.

• Sliding doors: everywhere! Fun and space saving. Don't pull too hard or your entire wall might come down. Can be rearranged easily.

• Paper doors: looks very asian but not practical in any way at all ever. Make your apartment look messy until you replace them only to break them again the next day. Like Internet Explorer these shoudl be replaced as soon as you realise you have them.

• Paper walls (practically): neighbours hear everything you do, you hear everything they do... everything! Plan accordingly, keep music and TV down, buy headphones. Useless for heavy pictures.

• Cupboards: look exactly like doors to other rooms. Be careful, it might go to the neighbour's place.

• Skirting board: massive gap behind it, great for holding up pictures, photos and greetings cards.

• Ceilings and door frames: very very low. Tall people, beware!

This blog is not meant to be any kind of guide to getting an apartment asshat could easily make up four or five blogs on its own. No, this is merely to orientate you on moving in, and I have deliberately kept it brief because there is no point repeating what is in the video. If I wrote about these topics it would be too long for you too read. I know because I wrote it and then I deleted it.

I'm sure we'll cover buying and renting property on another day. All I shall say for now is to try and look after your apartment if you want to get any of your security deposit back. In some places they will always take a chunk of it for cleaning - even if you are meticulous - because its tradition, and to question tradition is to question our existence, and if we question our existence we might find out we have no reason to exist, and in knowing we have no reason to exist, we might cease to exist, and then there would be no more chocolate covered potato chips so the non-existent world would mourn. So just accept it and look after your place to get back as much money as you possibly can.

We'll see you next time with another episode, possibly outside. I don't know yet. Depends on if it stops snowing. In the meantime, all comments or questions are welcome, including any suggestions of what topics to cover? What do you think the newbie to Japan ought to know?